Abandonment — You Are Not Alone
Feelings of abandonment can be hard to wade through. They capture our very being, much like muck in a swamp gets us stuck if we venture into the waters. We not only feel abandoned, we begin to feel rejected, alone and lonely. This can start a dangerous spiral that can lead to broken relationships, a broken spirit and even depression.
Examples of Abandonment
Abandonment may of started when we were young children. Working with women I have noted that many of them that feel abandoned and ultimately rejected have come from homes where their father was absent. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they had no father figure in their lives (although for many that has been the case). For some, their father was in the home physically, but was emotionally distant. For others, there was abuse in the home – physical, mental, emotional and/or sexual.
Abandonment may have occurred in school. You were the kid that never got picked for the team, or was always picked last. Everyone was going out on Friday night (or so you thought) and you were stuck at home with the television and a bag of Doritos. You sat alone in the cafeteria or library wondering what was wrong with you as you watched all your peers as they appeared to fit in.
Feelings of abandonment may have occurred in adulthood. You were fired from your job and are having difficulty finding another. Your significant other has cheated on you or your friends are too busy with their own lives. Every time you have a disagreement with your spouse or best friend they seem to walk away from you and ignore you. You have been blindsided and your spouse has filed for a divorce. It doesn’t matter if the person has left you physically alone, or emotionally alone – all you feel is rejected and abandoned.
Be Aware of Your Own Thoughts
Often our feelings of abandonment stem from our own thoughts and choices. We tend to have expectations that we put on others that they are just unable to fulfill – for whatever reason. There are times when it’s our own thoughts that create mountains out of molehills as we awfulize the situation that we are in and go to the worst case scenario.
We need to check to see which fountain we are drinking from. Is it’s the Living Water – Jesus or are we looking elsewhere? I wrote an article on the Living Water if you click here.
Every day someone disappoints another. People leave us and are not able to offer support. Every day people are left feeling rejected, abandoned, alone, lonely and afraid.
Even when your feelings tell you otherwise — you are not alone. I am going to say it one more time as this is vital for your to hear — YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
God has promised us that He will never leave us.
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” ~ Hebrews 13:5
I love the amplified translation of this scripture — “for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”
This means that no matter what, He is always going to be with us. In sickness and in health and for better and worse. He is with us when we are wearing our cranky pants and when we are wearing our joy bloomers. We don’t have to worry about being left to our own devices. No longer do we have to depend on the frailty of humanity. Others may not have the capability to always be there for us, however, God does.
We also don’t have to fret about losing Him or not being able to find Him. His word assures us of this:
He is as close as the mere mention — even a whisper — of His name.
Psalm 145:18 – NIV
“The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.”
Psalm 139: 7-10
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; and if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn; and if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
Loneliness may come, as will rejection and abandonment. It is in these times that we are that much closer to God. Reach out, cry out and allow Him to gently come in and embrace you with His abundant love and acceptance. It is in these times where He is building great character in you. Know that you are precious in His sight and that He adores you. He longs to spend time with you and He wants you to know how much He loves you. Give Him your burdens, worries and your cares. Get honest with Him about your true feelings, He understands. Allow Him to love you with His everlasting love, afterall
— nothing can ever seperate us from His love.
I encourage you to pray the following prayer when feelings of abandonment, rejection and loneliness come and try to weigh you down.
Thank You for your everlasting love and for always being available to hear my prayers. Today I am struggling with feelings of loneliness and rejection. I have been seeking validation and love from people and places that are not able to fill me. Please forgive me for not seeking You first and for having unrealistic expectations on others. I release all of the people ( you’ve can name them) that I have had these expectations on. May you bless them and heal them from any hurt I may have caused.
I ask that You also heal my heart and fill me with Your love and joy and grace. Help me to look to You when I am feeling abandoned, rejected and lonely. I trust in You and I trust in Your word. I thank You that I am never alone and that no matter what is going on in my life, You are there walking with me.
In Jesus’ name ~~~ amen