In The Wilderness
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I have been on a medical leave from work now for just over 2 months. The first two weeks were hard for me as I felt as though I lost my purpose. Since then I have been using some of my time to seek Gods grace as well as His direction. My routine has been to get up in the morning and spend between 3-5 hours with Him – reading my bible, praying, sitting in silence and doing a few different studies. In this I have found peace and I have found some healing. I don’t yet have all the answers that I am seeking but I trust in Him and that He will speak when I am at a place to hear. I just need to be willing to remain at a place where I will listen. All in His timing. I have fallen in love with God in an even deeper way than ever before and for that I am truly grateful. I have spent some time asking Him why? Why am I going through all that I have and still am? What part have I played in my circumstances and what am I to do to rectify things? What are the steps that I need to take to get my overall health back In order? Where do I go from here? What is my purpose in this very moment and what is it in days to come? I have bared my soul to Him and have asked Him to show me the areas that He wants me to work on and help me to do that which He has shown me and called me to do. I have asked Him to help me to let go of the garbage that I have been holding onto and to strengthen me and to give me courage to face what is ahead — with what I know and also with the unknown.
He shared with me the following message the other day —- ” I am not calling you out to the wilderness to live as a place to settle down. I am calling you out of Egypt and in to the wilderness at this time so that in that transitional place I can equip you with the skills that will make your stay in the Promised land productive, fulfilling and sweet” I don’t yet know what it all means — only parts — but it gives me peace. I will keep seeking His direction and His will. I will keep knocking on His door and will keep believing for healing in all areas of my life. I will keep my eyes open and I will stop trying to force myself out of this wilderness that I am finding myself in and will embrace each day as a day of hope and faith and an opportunity to learn and grow and flourish. One thing I know for sure is that God has never dropped me on my head and I am confident that He never will. He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me and I know that He keeps His promises. The other thing that I know for sure is that there is a call — a purpose for my life — and that I can serve my purpose even while in the wilderness. Love God (serve Him) and love others (serve them) as everything else stems from those two things.
Be blessed 💞💞💞💞💞